permutates | 5th transformation . spam & open video

[ spam ]

[ She's been working herself hard. Maybe too hard: she spends hours a day in the gym, sometimes as many as eight when she's not sleeping. She's read books on how to get in shape quickly and safely - more or less - and she's pushing herself as far as she can go. Trying to find her limits.

Today, she can also be found coming out of the CTS with Kelsier, bruised and mussed and a little bloody, and grinning ear to ear. If you're trying to impress me, it's working, he tells her, and she kisses him on the cheek and flushes bluer and makes her way to the Infirmary to make sure she's got nothing worse than bruises.

She hasn't reached her physical limits yet, but emotional is a different story. Being a child again, with that faith in Charles, has shaken her. Her conversation with Charles before that shook her. And sometimes, even when she's feeling fine - maybe when she's feeling the most fine, paradoxically - she starts crying. And sometimes she can't stop. Tucking herself into a corner of the gardens and trying to muffle the sounds of it so no one catches her at it. It's embarrassing, and she can always eventually manage to pull herself together and make it back to her room. ]

[ video ; open ]

[ Raven is blue, with red hair, not hiding. ]

What's something you've done here, for the first time? Or thought or realized, for the first time.

[ She's not sure what she's looking for. Maybe a little hope. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Stark usually takes to the deck to smoke. Not always, but it definitely beats staying completely cooped up in his cabin all day. He's just about to light his cigarette when he hears the sound of crying drifting over from the gardens.]

[He pauses because he's not sure if he should just leave whoever it is alone or if he should check on them. After a moment, he reasons that checking on whoever doesn't mean he can't leave them be if they want and puts away the cigarette. Better to check than to just outright ignore. He's not that much of a dick.]

[Stark keeps a respectable distance once he finds Raven in the gardens.]

So dealer's choice here: I can either ask you what's wrong and stay or I can walk the other way and leave you alone. It's entirely up to you.

[He's not going to pretend like it never happened though. That's not an option.]

[ Not an easy choice. She would rather nobody know. She would rather not be the kind of person who breaks down into tears for no reason. She would rather her feelings just be calmer.

But this is someone she trusts. For whatever reason. He reminds her of Erik: troubled, but with something at heart right about him.

She shifts over, leaving a little room on the bench beside her. ]

You can ask. But I don't really have an answer.

[ She sniffs, and wipes her eyes. ]

[Stark takes up the seat beside her unceremoniously. He doesn't do any of that hugging thing because non-violent contact is still something he's somewhat forgotten how to do. It's on the list. He's, at least, gotten the swing of using doors. Keys are next. Then hugs.]

Okay.

You're free to make something up. You know, get as wild as you want. Like...

I don't know, your favorite TV show got cancelled or you went down into the kitchen to get a snack and found out someone at the last bag of chips already. Or, even better, you've discovered that laundry ninjas have left you with an uneven number of socks.

[ This makes her smile a little, though disrupted by another hiccup/sob. ]

Maybe I ripped my favorite sweater.

[Stark smiles a little in return.]

Hey, I know that'd make me cry.

It's so impossible to buy anything off the rack that fits right.

[ Sniffling. ]

Oh I know. It's like they assume everyone has the same exact figure, it's ridiculous.

But hey. [He nudges her gently with an elbow.] I've got it on pretty good authority there are a few people around here who know how to knit.

I know. I'm one of them. Who knows how to knit, I mean.

I thought so. You know what that means though, right?

What does it mean?

It means that no matter what's bothering you, you're always going to dust yourself off and get right back at it. So, if you need to cry and you don't know why, I wouldn't stress about it any if I were you. Because you'll figure it out and kick its ass.

[A beat before he adds, with a grin:]

It also means that I'm probably going to be bothering you a lot in the future. I know it might come as a complete and total shock to you, but I have a really bad habit of destroying clothes.

The fact that I learned how to knit in home ec means all that.

Are you calling me a liar?

[He looks at her with mock-suspicion.]

[ A snort. ]

It's getting to be a habit.

[Stark scoffs, putting a hand over his heart.]

You don't fuck around do you? Just go straight for it.

Misery loves company.

Alright then, lesson learned: pretty girls who are crying are mean and horrible people.

Sorry.

I know you're just trying to help.

...why are you trying to help?

I know I'm a little rusty on the whole friends thing, but I'm pretty sure if someone isn't an asshole to you, you should try to not be an asshole back.

[Stark shrugs a little.]

Heart-to-hearts and hugging it out aren't exactly my forte to be honest, but I couldn't really leave you to sit back here and cry until you told me to fuck off and get lost.

[Even then, he probably wouldn't listen.]

Well. Thank you.

Don't mention it.

[Really, don't. 8c]