permutates | 5th transformation . spam & open video

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[ She's been working herself hard. Maybe too hard: she spends hours a day in the gym, sometimes as many as eight when she's not sleeping. She's read books on how to get in shape quickly and safely - more or less - and she's pushing herself as far as she can go. Trying to find her limits.

Today, she can also be found coming out of the CTS with Kelsier, bruised and mussed and a little bloody, and grinning ear to ear. If you're trying to impress me, it's working, he tells her, and she kisses him on the cheek and flushes bluer and makes her way to the Infirmary to make sure she's got nothing worse than bruises.

She hasn't reached her physical limits yet, but emotional is a different story. Being a child again, with that faith in Charles, has shaken her. Her conversation with Charles before that shook her. And sometimes, even when she's feeling fine - maybe when she's feeling the most fine, paradoxically - she starts crying. And sometimes she can't stop. Tucking herself into a corner of the gardens and trying to muffle the sounds of it so no one catches her at it. It's embarrassing, and she can always eventually manage to pull herself together and make it back to her room. ]

[ video ; open ]

[ Raven is blue, with red hair, not hiding. ]

What's something you've done here, for the first time? Or thought or realized, for the first time.

[ She's not sure what she's looking for. Maybe a little hope. ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You're kinda sappy.

Bull shit.

Falling in love for the first time?

Oh, shut up.

Who's the lucky girl?

..Umn, they're. They're, um.

Rather not say, if it's cool.

Okay. You don't have to tell me about it. I didn't... mean it like an interrogation.

It's just that I don't know how comfortable I am with it yet.

I know how that feels.

[ More or less. ]

His name's Cassel.

Oh.

[ It's mostly surprise that registers in her face. She honestly hadn't considered it as a possibility. And it's a little weird - but, then, she's got some sort of feeling for Ivy.

So, finally, she thinks: I made an assumption. ]

I assumed. I shouldn't have.

...No, I mean. I know it's weird.

I'm blue.

We're on a spaceship.

Stuff is weird.

Tell me about it.

...there are also some women here who are. Amazing.

What, blue? Or amazing?

I mean I think they're amazing.

[ she might be a little bit gay, okay ]

Yeah. Yeah. They're pretty fucking cool.

Can you tell me how you figured it out?

If not, if it's too personal, that's fine.

It's just. Something I didn't feel comfortable letting people know about. Like, I knew I always was what I am? I just. Wanted to hide it and forget about it and not let people see because they wouldn't fucking understand. I don't understand it sometimes. I just know it's what I am.

So it wasn't, like, figuring it out. It was coming to terms with it and letting other people see it.

I think that's pretty brave.

Yeah?

Letting other people see, at least.

My first broadcast here, I wasn't... blue.

It's just easier than having to waste time explaining.

You said you're not really sure you're comfortable with it.

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